i need to do this more often

i really enjoy having somwhere to journal my thoughts. i just never get around to it. plus i'm afraid of some people reading it. but does it really matter what they think? of me or my thoughts?

guess i should do an update of sorts. still waiting for adoption. still waiting on a birth certificate. still waiting.

wow, informative huh?

as far as the girls go? they're PERFECT of course :)
chrislenn is a busy little butterfly. she just finished cheering for basketball and is in full swing with chorus AND a musical. plus she's a phenomenal student both in school & church. she's a beautiful girl, inside & out, and such a great big sister. she had some trouble with headaches for the past 6 months or so but those seem to be fading out. i hope.
caileigh...that baby is a MESS! she'll be 2 soon & is emcompassing all that implies. she's doing amazingly well in both therapies. still needs to do some catching up in expressing her languauge & walking without support, but WOW has she made huge progress. she's doing way more than anyone ever thought she would.

continue to pray for us, please. that the legal junk would resolve very quickly & for God's continued healing.

Almost there

I feel like singing the song from "princess & the frog"...

:)

It won't be long until our ladybug is all ours! We've got a party planned & everyone's invited. Check out the blog's new layout for a hint of our party theme!!!

Parental discretion is advised

Oh lord. I was reading a blog & it mentioned a company named Madeon Hard Lotion...wellllll, I read it as Hard on Made lotions & was like ewww that's freakin nasty.

Yeah, that's my brain.

Please don't judge me.

Cry baby

Sooooo.....

I haven't done a good job of not being a cry baby. Poor DFCS. Poor CASA. Poor, poor pitiful me.

It's so hard to wait when you know how things are going to turn out. And it's hard to be Christlike when you're constantly surrounded by someone who works your very last nerve. It's like a nagging little tickle in your throat that you just can't clear out.

IRRITATING. I believe that's the word I'm looking for.

I just want to be her mama. Without limits. I want to sleep without fear or doubt. I'm ready to move forward. I'm tired of treading water.

Lord, let today be the day. Let decisions be made today concerning her becoming ours permanently.

All I want for Christmas is an adoption date.

I don't want to be a cry baby anymore.

My Jerry Maguire moment

I LOVE BLACK PEOPLEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Now that that's out of the way...

Oh do I have stories for you people when this legal drama is over. I really should have a stand up routine from all of this riveting material.

Stay tuned, my friends. Good stuff on the way.

:)

ladybug update

almost every day i get asked how the baby is doing & where we are in the adoption process. so i'll answer here :)

how is she doing? as of right now, she's got a snotty nose, but who doesn't?!? she's doing pretty well physically. not sure if every one knows, but as a brand new newborn miss ladybug was VERY ill & suffered ill effects in the form of physical delays & a hearing disorder called auditory neuropathy. her physical delays seem to only be in the area of gross motor skills. her fine motor skills are pretty much appropriate for her age. she is 15 months old now & is not quite crawling...YET! she's getting there with daily therapy from me & seeing a therapist every other week. and before you know it, my sweet baby won't be a baby anymore. she'll be a toddler on the move. i have to admit, i've quite enjoyed her staying "babyfied" a little longer. am i bad??? she's still a little wobbly when she sits as well. cerebral palsy is still a diagnosis we MAY receive. BUT GOD. He's good, ya know? and my poor darlin could have received much more damage to her little brain & body than she did. i prayed for her. the first thing i did when i got to her was lay my hands on her tiny head. He heard me.

auditory neuropathy? the strangest condition & so very hard to explain. basically, her hearing nerve got damaged & therefore sometimes works & sometimes doesn't. doctors believe she could be hearing something similar to "static" on a regular basis with words coming in choppy sounding or not at all. as you can imagine, it would be very difficult to learn language if you're not hearing full words. we go to weekly auditory verbal therapy to learn how to teach her to listen & speak regardless of what she actually hears. cochlear implants may be needed to create a better "connection" with the nerve, so to speak. BUT GOD. He's good. and she's making progress with this therapy & we could possibly avoid surgery.

legal junk? it's raddafrakaschmakapppplllllbbbbbbbbb. yeah. that's all i gots to say about that. actually, i've had a lot more to say but i've decided after a year of crying, whining & complaining i need to suck it up & quit being a baby about it. and i just heard DFCS cheer... so we're still waiting. we're hoping it will resolve soon. just keep praying. we know she's our promise from God. and we trust Him.

A touch of crazy

It's been so long since I've written! I guess life just gets in the way, especially when you're not a famous, interesting person :)
I thought I'd share a little touch of my crazy today(which is usually a daily occurrence) but today I felt like writing.

I was getting ready to leave the house to get Chrislenn from school...grabbed the baby's bag & my purse & went to put them in the car. I like to cool the car down a but before I put the baby in since for some ungodly reason it's still 10 degrees shy of hell here in the south. I walked right out, head held high, breathing in the hot, liquidly fresh air (no sarcasm there...at all) & walked straight through a DAGGUM, FREAKIN spider web. Heeby jeeby dance insued, as did the checking of every inch of my skin searching for the DAGGUM, FREAKIN arachnid that caused this touch of crazy I was now experiencing. I did not make a fool of myself while inspecting my arm pits thoroughly for any signs of 2 point bites because EVERYONE knows that those disgusting vampires desire the warm fresh powdery scent of human underarms. It's their utopia I think. Nor do I continue to inspect the fresh powdered area because it now itches and/or burns every 5 milliseconds & that is not an exaggeration or just my imagination, thankyouverymuch.

Good thing Chrislenn is a touch used to her mama's crazy & has no fear of embarrassment as her mama drives up doing a lil dance.

my friends @ Baby be Blessed

another amazing giveaway @ Baby be Blessed! i love these girls & appreciate their ministry so much. not only have they blessed me but so many around the world. they really do PRAY over the dolls & the children they are going to. please check them out & go ahead & order something beautiful for your babies' Easter baskets, k? :)

a touch more of my story...the romance portion

i was 17. i had just graduated high school. i was fixing to start college at the university of georgia. i was going to bring home the football team. meaning i was planning on dating all of them. i guess God had other plans.

he was 18. he had just graduated high school. 800 miles away from where he was. he had just broken up with his girlfriend of over 2 years. his friends told him that it was "3 to 1 in atlanta." meaning he was planning on getting lucky with as many georgia girls as possible. i guess God had other plans.

it was a friday night and my youth group was having a lock in. he came with his friends. again. when i had tried to introduce myself at youth service the wednesday before, he ignored me. or didn't hear me, at least that's his side of the story. the boys were playing ball, every kind of ball known to man. the girls were cheering them on, throwing them starburst when they did something good, or something we thought was cute. later on, i rewarded them all with back massages. he enjoyed that and asked me to breakfast. i smiled, said i "didn't DO breakfast" & sauntered away. but not before letting him know that he could take to dinner & a movie with all that money he had in his wallet (i had held his wallet while he swam). he called me later that day & we made plans for monday night.

it was date night. he picked me up in his mini van. yes, girls, a mini van. he looked so cute in his glasses that he had apologized for wearing but he needed them to see to drive at night. i told him he looked cute in them. he has worn them ever since. we went to see "a time to kill." before it started, he commented on how tiny my hands were & asked me to compare them to his. he was so sneaky...threading his fingers through mine until we were holding hands. now that's smooth, ladies,smoooooooth. :)

we've been together ever since that day.

almost 15 years.

that's a long time.

almost half my life.

wow.

enter to win @ BbB!

love these girlies, they are beyond fabulous!!!
BabyBeBlessed

after a pregnancy loss...

it seems like almost every friend i have has been through a loss of pregnancy. but i have a feeling i was the first of us to ever go through it & i had to do it all on my own. i was only 18 years old. i had only been out of high school for one year. i was over 800 miles away from my family. i had no friends except my boyfriend (who is now my husband, by the way). and his mother hated me (at the time, she loves me now). and everybody was happy that my baby died, except me. at least, that's how i felt at the time.

so in effort to help a dear little friend who is going through this right now, i decided to write a list of sorts to let her know what to expect. how crazy her heart is going to feel for a while. how crappy her life will feel for a while. but also, Who to turn to and Who to trust even when you don't want to or can't understand.

i'm also going to write a post soon about infertility & the stupid stages that come along with that, too.

yeah, my life hasn't been easy. can ya tell? :)

ok, sweet darlin...here's how it might play out:

*you'll want to cry, even when there seems to be no more tears, even when you feel dehydrated. and it's ok to cry.

*you'll want to scream & yell about the unfairness of it all. you'll want to scream at God & tell Him He sux. and it's ok. He understands & He still loves you.

*you'll want people to actually acknowledge your loss, even when nothing they say will make you feel better or even be the right thing for them to say. and it's ok for their words to upset you even when you want them to say SOMETHING.

*you'll want to curl up into a ball & die. and it's ok to feel this way, but only for a little while.

*you'll want someone to just hold you. my arms are here.

*you'll need to talk about it. it's ok to talk about it. some people will try to make you feel like it's a taboo subect but it's not. my ears are here too.

*you'll want to hit something or somebody. i suggest a gym with a bag :)

*you'll want to smack all pregnant women. please don't go to jail! seriously, it's very normal to feel this way. just remember, you wouldn't wish your pain on anyone.

*you'll want to snatch every infant you see. again, no jail time.

*you'll want to seriously hurt every bad mother you see. especially those who only see their children every few days much less actually raising them themselves. take a breath, pray for them, pray for their children & let it go.

*you'll want to cry some more. it's ok. just cry as much as you want.

my heart hurts for all women who have to experience this life altering tragedy. my prayer for you is that you get through. get through & grow & cling to our Savior. know Him more, my friends. know His heart. He loves you so.

more freeness

i like free. free is good. i'm not entering the contest this week, but wanted everyone else to know about it! plus i love baby be blessed & want to promote them every chance i can. go here

please and thank you.

almost forgot my manners.

:)

my sweet girls @ BabyBeBlessed

oh how i love these girls! they always have the sweetest giveaways, go check them out here

they also have finished dolls & accessories for purchase here

whatever

whatever. the wittiest comeback/answer to a question EVER.

you look nice today. WHATEVER.

do you know what time it is? WHATEVER.

kiss my tail. WHATEVER.

it's gold; gold, i say! and i'm bringing it back...for the second time in my life. the teen years were a gold mine of activity for the whatever. and i feel the need to unleash it's power again.

grow up, carrie. WHATEVER.

see????? PURE GOLD, i tell you!

selfish people piss me off

and trust me, i piss myself off sometimes too. i'm not always selfless. i do, however, believe that i don't indulge in a lifestyle of selfishness. unlike SOME people i know.

ok, so i'm being a butthead.

but SERIOUSLY! you do everything for YOU, with no one else on your mind or heart, then have the nerve to complain about your life( and P.S., if you have children, there is no room for selfishness in your life. grow up & think about them for a chnage.)?!?!? it's your own stupid fault.

here's my advice: quit being stupid. AH, i kid. and crack myself up!

if you can't stand your life, here's a novel idea...CHANGE IT. or better yet, give it to the One who can. change it, that is. (ok, ok, i know i used the word "pissed" & it's not exactly "Christian" so how dare i talk about God or Jesus??? because i'm human. and i haven't arrived yet.) i'm not going to tell you that your life will be rosy & peachy if you give your life to Christ. it won't be. it will actually seem harder & crappier (is that even a word?!) when you choose to do the right thing & to live a life chasing after Him. why? because now the devil has a target on you. but trust me, it will be worth it. and it WILL get better. because you'll open yourself up to the promises & blessings of God. that will NOT let you off the hook for screwing things up before though. sorry to burst that bubble. there are consequences to sin. He forgives your sin but that doesn't automatically exempt you from the consequences.

and you'll probably have to break off some relationships in your life, which will hurt. be it a significant other, friends or even family members...sometimes it has to be done. learn to be the YOU that God created you to be. we tell the teens all the time, "show me your friends & i'll show you your future." you become who you're around. just a simple fact. now does that mean to totally ignore people that probably need to run to Jesus too? of course not. but spending all of your time with them will not be exactly "uplifting" for you when they're still trying to pull you back into the life you once had that you hated. there are some people that we have had to pray for & leave in God's hands, trusting that He would send someone else into their lives that can lead them to Him because we were just not going to be the right ones to do it. they remember too much & are bitter about our old lives or are too close to us & won't hear anything we have to say.

guess what else? you'll need to go to church. OMG. imagine that, a Christ follower in church. think about it like this...if you want to be a doctor, don't you have to go to medical school? you need training & support from others who have already been there, that can answer your questions & guide you. so don't be a pain; get yourself up & go to church. reading the bible helps too...just sayin'. there are folks at the church that can help you with that, too. wow, such wisdom i'm imparting ;o)

so i don't sound like a total jerk here, i do know what it feels like to be sick of your life and want a change. i ran to Jesus. He changed me. He can change you, too.

give a blessing!

the ladies at baby be blessed are blessings themselves! please go check out their blog & consider helping in their give a blessing!!!

http://babybeblessed.blogspot.com/

10 pounds & a hair cut

baby girl #2 has made it to ten pounds! i am so proud of her sassy little self :) she's got chunky fat rolls now & just as yummy & squishy as a 3 month old baby should be! here she is wearing a hair bow her big sister made her:

not sure why this photo won't position properly, sooooo just turn your head to the right.

speaking of her big sister...she BEGGED me to cut her hair. short in the back, longer in the front. oh lawd, i think my heart stopped 17 times while i was cutting those long waves. but she's so stinkin cute. all the time. even with her chiclet teeth coming in. wanna see?


i did a pretty good job if i say so myself...which i just did. i'm a dork.

xoxo,
carrie

a touch of my story

like i said in my last post, i have been so bad about blogging...mainly because i don't want to offend people with some of things i'm thinking (which is what i think a blog is kinda for, ya know a journal of sorts) BUUUUUUUUUUUT, now i just don't really care :) so here's me


my name is carrie...i would just call myself something cutesy & unidentifiable like "C" but everyone in my little family has the exact same initials so that would be pointless. so i'll just perform my first internet no-no & tell you my IRL name. like that? i used IRL...it stands for In Real Life. yeah, i'm totally blog savvy ;o)

so here's a touch of my story. i promise to make a long story not too terribly long...i hope. born in ohio, moved to georgia @ 7 years old...now, why did i just use the "@" when i could have typed another at? because i'm a total goofball, that's why. RABBIT TRAIL! i 'pologize. so i grew up here in good o' georgia. i was invited to church by a friend & attended from VBS through youth group. that's where i met my husband, well ya know the boy who would become my husband, at a youth group lock in right after we had both graduated from our respective high schools (his being in TX, by the way). aw shoot. am i going to have to back track to why he was here from TX? NAH. that'll be another post for another day. dang, 2 rabbit trails in one paragraph. we went on our first date 3 days later & we have been together ever since. no, i won't tell you how long that's been. because i don't have to, it's my blog & i'll cry if i want to. can you tell i'm feeling touchy about my age lately? ANYWAY. geez, i hope we get to the end of this post before you all fall asleep. we were married 3 years after that, bought a house 6 months later & somehow decided we were ready to try for babies. what we didn't know was what a difficult road that would be. 3 years after that, a miscarriage & a diagnosis of PCOS later...baby girl #1 made her appearance! chrislenn leigh weighed in at a whopping 4 pounds coming 5 weeks early & very nearly scared us to death. thankfully she was perfectly healthy & never even had to be on oxygen much less be in the NICU. so smart. so sweet. so loving. perfection. then, she wanted a baby sister. 5 years, more PCOS & another miscarriage (tubal pregnancy to be accurate), foster to adopt parent classes & a TON of paperwork later...baby girl # 2 arrived in a whirlwind in our home at 2 weeks old & a whopping 5 1/2 pounds!

can you tell we're really good at tiny miracles???

i think i'll leave you there...hanging... :)

xoxo,
carrie

i heart fridays

i've been so bad about blogging on a regular basis...besides the yay free fridays of course! please go visit these sweet ladies at baby be blessed, i promised YOU will be blessed!!!

maybe i'll not be so afraid to post blogs about how i'm really feeling. i just never know who reads this thing & i am terrified to offend people. i don't intend to be offensive so i guess i can just put it out there & if they get offended, then it's between them & God. because, honestly, sometimes what i'm feeling is pretty stinkin hilarious...at least, i crack my ownself up ;o)

yay!

another free friday with the girls at baby be blessed! go show love!!!